Offers 10 Parenting Quick Tips

1.                  Communication: Keeping the lines of communication of your child should be a priority with all parents.  It is important to let your kids know you are always there for them no matter what the subject is.  If there is a subject you are not comfortable with, please be sure your child has someone they can open up to.  I believe that when kids keep things bottled up, it can be when negative behaviors can start to grow.

2.                  Knowing your Children’s Friends:  This is critical, in my opinion.  Who are your kids hanging out with?  Doing their homework with?  If they are spending a lot of time at a friends house, go out of your way to call the parent introduce yourself.  Especially if they are spending the night at a friends house, it important to take time to call the parents or meet them.  This can give you a feeling of security knowing where your child is and who they are with.

3.                   Know your Child’s Teachers – Keep track of their attendance at school: Take time to meet each teacher and be sure they have your contact information and you have theirs if there are any concerns regarding your child.  In the same respect, take time to meet your child’s Guidance Counselor.

4.                  Keep your Child Involved:  Whether it is sports, music, drama, dance, and school clubs such as chess, government, school newspaper or different committees such as prom, dances and other school activities.  Keeping your child busy can keep them out of trouble.  If you can find your child’s passion – whether it is football, soccer, gymnastics, dance, music – that can help keep them focused and hopefully keep them on track in school.

5.                  Learn about Internet Social Networking: In today’s Cyber generation this has to be a priority.  Parents need to help educate their kids on Cyber Safety – think before they post, help them to understand what they put up today, may haunt them tomorrow.  Don’t get involved with strangers and especially don’t talk about sex with strangers.  Avoid meeting in person the people you meet online without you being there.  On the same note – cell phone and texting – don’t allow your child to freely give out their cell numbers and never post them online. Parents should consider ReputationDefender/MyChild to further help protect their children online.

6.                  Encourage your teen to get a job or volunteer:  In today’s generation I think we need to instill responsibility and accountability.  This can start early by encouraging your teen to either get a job or volunteer, especially during the summer.  Again, it is about keeping them busy, however at the same time teaching them responsibility.  I always tell parents to try to encourage their teens to get jobs at Summer Camps, Nursing Homes, ASPCA, Humane Society or places where they are giving to others or helping animals.  It can truly build self esteem to help others. 

7.                  Make Time for your Child: This sounds very simple and almost obvious, but with today’s busy schedule of usually both parents working full time or single parent households, it is important to put time aside weekly (if not daily at dinner) for one on one time or family time.  Today life is all about electronics (cell phones, Ipods, Blackberry’s, computers, etc) that the personal touch of actually being together has diminished.

8.                  When Safety trumps privacy:  If you suspect your teen is using drugs, or other suspicious behaviors (lying, defiance, disrespectful, etc) it is time to start asking questions – and even “snooping” – I know there are two sides to this coin, and that is why I specifically mentioned “if you suspect” things are not right – in these cases – safety for your child takes precedence over invading their privacy.  Remember – we are the parent and we are accountable and responsible for our child.

9.                  Are you considering outside treatment for your child? Residential Therapy is a huge step, and not a step that is taken lightly. Do your homework!  When your child’s behavior escalates to a level of belligerence, defiance, substance abuse or God forbid gang relations – it may be time to seek outside help.  Don’t be ashamed of this – put your child’s future first and take steps to get the help he/she needs – immediately, but take your time to find the right placement. Read Wit’s End! for more information.    

10.             Be a parent FIRST:  There are parents that want to be their child’s friend and that is great – but remember you are a parent first.  Set boundaries – believe it not kids want limits (and most importantly – need them).  Never threaten consequences you don’t plan on following through with.

Comments

By Carol Brady, PhD.

During a recent visit to a school, I noticed a student, Danny, roughhousing with a classmate. The boy said, “Stop it,” but Danny laughed and continued, seemingly oblivious to his friend’s irritation. When questioned later about this interchange, Danny responded, “He likes it when we play rough.”

Later that day, Danny was clueless as to why he was teased and called “loser” by his offended friend.

In 2001, the New York University Child Study Center conducted a survey of 507 parents. It found that kids with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) were nearly three times more likely to have difficulty getting along with, and more than twice as likely to get picked on by, peers, compared to children without ADHD.

Danny’s situation provides an illuminating look at why this may be so: Danny thought both he and his friend were having fun. He didn’t notice any nonverbal clues, so he didn’t take his friend’s verbal request to stop seriously.

Danny’s friend, on the other hand, interpreted Danny’s boisterous behavior as intentionally irritating, so he lashed out at him with hurtful words.

You may recall the classic saying: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” The truth of the matter is that words can hurt - deeply. The most heart-wrenching stories I’ve heard from preteen patients relate to their being teased by peers. All children in the “in-between” years are susceptible to bullying by classmates, but kids who have ADHD may receive a disproportionate amount. If a child faces mean words and acts on a regular basis, the effects take their toll on his schoolwork and overall happiness.

AD/HD behaviors, such as frequent interrupting and lack of standard social etiquette, may be misinterpreted as intentionally hurtful. Other behaviors simply provide easy targets for teasing during the precarious middle-school years. These behaviors may include: poor eye contact, too much activity, both verbal and nonverbal, and failure to notice social cues. Misinterpretation of such behaviors often causes trouble for both the AD/HD child and his schoolmates.

Parents can help their preteens hold back the tide of teasing by teaching social skills at home. Practice maintaining eye contact during short conversations. Emphasize the importance of using transitional expressions when greeting or leaving friends, such as “Hi” and “Bye,” and of saying “Please,” “Thank you,” and “I’m sorry.” Ask your child to try counting to five in his head before making any comments or responding during a conversation. This five-second margin will reduce inappropriate verbal blurting and help teach him to become a better listener.

If preteens do not see how they may draw negative attention, they may come away from social interactions feeling that they are hopelessly and inexplicably disliked. Parents may advise their children to “just ignore it,” but this strategy can be difficult for AD/HD students. As you help your child build social skills, continue to listen to her problems. Provide a forum to discuss interactions and help her come up with her own strategies for dealing with the teasers of the world. Involve your child in activities at which he can be successful. Respond to your preteen when he shows what an interesting, loyal, and compassionate person he is becoming. Reinforce connections to his friends who show positive qualities. Tell about your own childhood (or present-day!) encounters with hurtful people and share your solutions.

Young people take cues from those around them. Compassion may not be the strongest suit for many preteens, but school can be an ideal setting for changing this paradigm.

An episode from my ADD daughter’s time in junior high school makes the case for involving administrators and students in maintaining a friendly environment at school. The girls at the lunch table saw a student hiding another girl’s purse. When the girl found that her purse was missing, she began to cry. The principal called all the girls at the table in to her office. Although the offending child confessed to “playing a joke,” the principal asked each one of the girls at the table to perform one act of kindness every day that week for the victim of the teasing. The principal explained that, by doing nothing about an act of unkindness, they were part of the problem.

This intervention made a big impression on the girls, who came to understand that supporting an atmosphere of “compassion” was part of the school’s mission. The secret preteen understanding - “don’t get involved and don’t be a tattletale or you will be next” - was turned on its head. These girls learned that this doesn’t apply when you see targets of teasing.

That “magical, protective shield” that we all wish for our children must be built over time. While no single technique can eliminate the teasing words or actions that hurt feelings, there’s a lot that parents and teachers can do to help.

Comments

By Carol Brady, PhD.

During a recent visit to a school, I noticed a student, Danny, roughhousing with a classmate. The boy said, “Stop it,” but Danny laughed and continued, seemingly oblivious to his friend’s irritation. When questioned later about this interchange, Danny responded, “He likes it when we play rough.”

Later that day, Danny was clueless as to why he was teased and called “loser” by his offended friend.

In 2001, the New York University Child Study Center conducted a survey of 507 parents. It found that kids with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) were nearly three times more likely to have difficulty getting along with, and more than twice as likely to get picked on by, peers, compared to children without ADHD.

Danny’s situation provides an illuminating look at why this may be so: Danny thought both he and his friend were having fun. He didn’t notice any nonverbal clues, so he didn’t take his friend’s verbal request to stop seriously.

Danny’s friend, on the other hand, interpreted Danny’s boisterous behavior as intentionally irritating, so he lashed out at him with hurtful words.

You may recall the classic saying: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” The truth of the matter is that words can hurt - deeply. The most heart-wrenching stories I’ve heard from preteen patients relate to their being teased by peers. All children in the “in-between” years are susceptible to bullying by classmates, but kids who have ADHD may receive a disproportionate amount. If a child faces mean words and acts on a regular basis, the effects take their toll on his schoolwork and overall happiness.

AD/HD behaviors, such as frequent interrupting and lack of standard social etiquette, may be misinterpreted as intentionally hurtful. Other behaviors simply provide easy targets for teasing during the precarious middle-school years. These behaviors may include: poor eye contact, too much activity, both verbal and nonverbal, and failure to notice social cues. Misinterpretation of such behaviors often causes trouble for both the AD/HD child and his schoolmates.

Parents can help their preteens hold back the tide of teasing by teaching social skills at home. Practice maintaining eye contact during short conversations. Emphasize the importance of using transitional expressions when greeting or leaving friends, such as “Hi” and “Bye,” and of saying “Please,” “Thank you,” and “I’m sorry.” Ask your child to try counting to five in his head before making any comments or responding during a conversation. This five-second margin will reduce inappropriate verbal blurting and help teach him to become a better listener.

If preteens do not see how they may draw negative attention, they may come away from social interactions feeling that they are hopelessly and inexplicably disliked. Parents may advise their children to “just ignore it,” but this strategy can be difficult for AD/HD students. As you help your child build social skills, continue to listen to her problems. Provide a forum to discuss interactions and help her come up with her own strategies for dealing with the teasers of the world. Involve your child in activities at which he can be successful. Respond to your preteen when he shows what an interesting, loyal, and compassionate person he is becoming. Reinforce connections to his friends who show positive qualities. Tell about your own childhood (or present-day!) encounters with hurtful people and share your solutions.

Young people take cues from those around them. Compassion may not be the strongest suit for many preteens, but school can be an ideal setting for changing this paradigm.

An episode from my ADD daughter’s time in junior high school makes the case for involving administrators and students in maintaining a friendly environment at school. The girls at the lunch table saw a student hiding another girl’s purse. When the girl found that her purse was missing, she began to cry. The principal called all the girls at the table in to her office. Although the offending child confessed to “playing a joke,” the principal asked each one of the girls at the table to perform one act of kindness every day that week for the victim of the teasing. The principal explained that, by doing nothing about an act of unkindness, they were part of the problem.

This intervention made a big impression on the girls, who came to understand that supporting an atmosphere of “compassion” was part of the school’s mission. The secret preteen understanding - “don’t get involved and don’t be a tattletale or you will be next” - was turned on its head. These girls learned that this doesn’t apply when you see targets of teasing.

That “magical, protective shield” that we all wish for our children must be built over time. While no single technique can eliminate the teasing words or actions that hurt feelings, there’s a lot that parents and teachers can do to help.

Comments

www.inhalant.org
www.helpyourteens.com

Comments

Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

As children move into middle school and on to high school, they meet new people and experience changes in style, outlook, and social life. Don’t be surprised to see major shifts in your child’s fashion sense, the movies she watches, and the music she listens to. As your adolescent develops her new identity, she may challenge the way things are done and may see little need for advice and direction. Disappearing into her room, spending endless hours on the phone, and hanging out with friends—often new friends—are behaviors that signal a whole new scene.

As a child begins to declare his independence, his social circle may provide new views about what’s right, acceptable, “cool,” or “hip.” Unspoken expectations as well as direct encouragement can sway an adolescent’s behavior as well as his attitudes.

The youth scene inevitably includes issues of drinking, smoking, and illegal drug use. When a young person has friends who engage in these activities, it becomes easier for her to believe that such conduct is normal. Besides, adolescents tend to think nothing bad can happen to them. As a result, a child may be inclined to go along with the crowd. She may try a substance that not only is dangerous, but also can get her in trouble. Remember, tobacco and alcohol use are against the law for adolescents.

Young people often are so focused on their personal world of friends and activities that parental influence may seem to be squeezed out. But you can do a lot to help your adolescent take the right social cues.

Getting to know a child’s friends is a good place to start. Meeting them will give you a sense of their personalities, what they are “into,” and their family situations. Don’t be too quick to judge a child’s friends, though. Radical styles and unconventional appearances may be nothing more than a badge of identity. Besides, your child will dismiss any snap judgments that you offer.

Welcome your child’s friends into your home. Encourage your child to invite them over. Talk with them. Offer to drive them home or to drop the group off at a party, the movies, or a school event.

Get to know the friends’ parents. If you haven’t met them, give them a call. Ask what their expectations are regarding curfews, sleepovers, and entertainment. Share your rules and views. Invite the friends’ parents to contact you with any questions or concerns regarding the adolescents’ behavior or to clarify arrangements for their activities. Doing so will add to your impressions of your child’s friends. It will help you know where your child is, whom he is with, and how (or if) he is being supervised when he’s not at home.

Adolescents may react negatively to any pressure or direct suggestions about whom they should hang out with. But there are plenty of opportunities to learn more about their friends. You can ask a child what she likes about a friend or what she thinks of a situation. Use examples from your own experience. Spending time together and being involved in a child’s life allows communication about friends and other sensitive topics to become natural and expected.

Encourage your children to get involved in activities that match their interests. Trying different activities channels an adolescent’s curiosity into things that are safe and fun. Positive activities are good ways to meet friends who have positive attitudes.

You may wonder if any of your guidance is sinking in, but young people listen and absorb more than you think. They are likely to apply your viewpoint to their own friends and social situations. Young people consistently say that their parents are the most important influence in their lives.¹

The next time your child has a friend over, invite the friend’s parent/guardian over for a cup of coffee. Or, invite his or her family over to play a board game!

Sources

¹ Office of National Drug Control Policy. Training of Trainers Workshop 1998. The extended family. Parenting IS Prevention, last referenced 10/18/2002.

• CYFERnet—Children, Youth, and Families Education and Research Network
• Institute for Youth Development: Smith, A.M. The Power of Peers
• Ohio State University Extension: Sachs, S.L. Monitoring: Staying Involved in Your Teen’s Life

Additional Resources

Comments

Your teen is becoming more independent, but still needs plenty of advice from you. With more money to spend and more opportunities to spend it, your teen can get him or herself and even you into financial trouble, but with your help, your teen can develop the self-confidence and skills he or she needs to successfully manage money in the real world.

Teens often have more expenses than younger children, and your child may be coming to you for money more often. This is an opportunity to teach your teen about money.
You might want to encourage your teen to get a part-time job.  Here are some things you might want to discuss with your teen when he or she begins working:

• Limit the hours worked so it won’t interfere with schoolwork and family time.
• Agree on what your child's pay should be used for. Now that your teen is working, will he or she need to help out with car insurance or clothing expenses, or do you want your teen to earmark a portion of each paycheck for college?
• Talk to your teen about taxes. Show your child how FICA taxes and regular income taxes can take a bite out of his or her take-home pay.
• Introduce your teen to the idea of paying yourself first. Encourage your teen to deposit a portion of every paycheck in a savings account before spending any of it.

A teen that is too young to get a job outside the home can make extra cash by babysitting or doing odd jobs for you, neighbors, or relatives.

Developing a spending plan or budget that includes items like clothes, recreation, and gas for the car can help your teen learn to manage money. Your goal is to teach your teen how to find a balance between money coming in and money going out. Have your teen start by listing out all sources of regular income (e.g., an allowance or earnings from a part-time job). Next, have your teen list regular expenses (don't include anything you normally pay for). Finally, subtract your teen's expenses from his or her income. If the result shows that your teen won't have enough income to meet his or her expenses, you'll need to help your teen come up with a plan for either spending less or earning more money.
Here are some ways you can help your teen learn about budgeting:

• Consider giving out a monthly, rather than weekly, allowance. Tell your teen that the money must last for the whole month, and encourage him or her to keep track of what's been spent.
• Encourage your teen to think spending decisions through rather than buying items right away. Show your teen how to compare prices or wait for an item to go on sale.
• Show your teen how to change a budget by listing expenses as needs (expenses that are unavoidable) and wants (expenses that could be cut if necessary).
• Resist the temptation to bail your teen out. If your teen can depend on you to come up with extra cash, he or she will never learn to manage money wisely. But don't be judgmental--your teen will inevitably make some spending mistakes along the way. Your child should know that he or she can always come to you for information, support, and advice.

Now that your child is a teen, he or she is ready to focus on saving for larger goals such as a new computer or a car and longer-term goals such as college. Here are some ways you can encourage your teen to save for the future:

• Have your teen put savings goals in writing to make them more concrete.
• Encourage your child to set goals that are based on his or her values, not on keeping up with what other teens have or want.
• Motivate your child by offering to match what he or she saves towards a long-term goal. For instance, for every dollar your child sets aside for college, you might contribute 50 cents or 1 dollar.
• Praise your teen for showing responsibility when he or she reaches a financial goal. Teens still look for, and count on, their parent's approval.
• Open up a savings account for your child if you haven't already done so.

Show your teen how you use your credit card wisely.  Explain how fees will be charged if payments are not made on time and that finance charges will be added if you do not pay the bill in full each month.  Go over the credit card bill with your teen to show him or her how they can keep track of where the money is being spent each month.

Comments

If you’re in high school, most of your friends are probably on a diet. A recent study shows that 90% of junior and senior girls are on a diet regularly, even though only 10-15% are actually overweight.

The modeling industry also promotes the idea that you need to diet and exercise religiously. Fashion models are actually thinner than 98% of American women. An average woman stands 5′4″ tall and weighs about 140 lbs, while the average fashion model is a towering 5′11″ tall and weighs under 117 lbs.

In reality no amount of dieting, exercise and discipline can earn you a magazine cover-ready body because those photos have been Photo Shopped, doctored and airbrushed. Don’t waste your time attempting to be what you are not, instead; focus on cultivating who you are!

Body Image Tips
As you progress through puberty and your high school years, your body changes as fast as your favorite ringtones. But learning to appreciate your body and have positive self image is a task that few adults have even mastered. Here are some tips to help you learn to love yourself:

• Learn to Cook- It is never too early to learn to cook. In just a few years, you will be on your own and you will be expected to feed and take care of yourself. Get some practice at home by preparing some family meals or meals for just yourself. Try some new foods by looking through cookbooks and online. Impress your friends by having a dinner party. This also helps you understand how food functions within a regular diet. Learn how to cook healthily so you can eat healthily, but don’t spend too much time worrying about food!
• Don’t Diet!- Dieting is a great way to ruin your eating habits and your relationship with food and your body. Instead, learn about healthy eating and exercise habits. The healthy habits you learn while you are young will serve you throughout your life!
• People Watch- Go to the mall or a public space and people watch. How many are fat or thin? How tall are most women? Men? What do you like or dislike about people’s styles, looks or body type? How much of their appearance is “style” and how much is their actual body types? Cultivate the ability to see style and beauty in everyone. As you learn to do this, you can be a trend-setter instead of a trend-follower.
• Keep it Real- Remember, people only pick the best photos to be on their MySpace or Facebook page. Remind yourself that they all have bad hair days, the occasional zit or an unflattering outfit choice.
• Stay Well Rounded- Sign up for activities that you have never tried. Join an intramural sport or speech meet. Build up your college resume by participating in extracurricular activities. It’s a great way to broaden your social circle and prepares you for college or a job.
• Be a Trend Setter- Don’t just follow the crowd - create your own crowd by being a trend setter. Find your own style and look by experimenting with your hair, makeup and clothing. What is your look trying to say? Does it match what you want people to think about you? Someone has to set the trends. Why not you?
• Learn to meditate- It is never too early to learn to meditate. You will find that this is a skill you can use all your life. By focusing inward, it is easier to distill the truth rather than listening to outside influences. It will also help you manage the stress of your busy life.

Parental Tips
If you are a parent of a teen, you know the challenges of living with an emotional, possibly aloof teenager who begs for guidance but disregards most of what you say. Their alternating moods and attitudes make approaching a touchy subject like body image feels dangerous. The following are some tips to help with a positive body image:

• Have an Open Door Policy-You’d like your teen to approach you with any problem she is facing but often you aren’t sure if she’s coming to you, going to her friends or suffering alone. Encourage regular candid conversation by noticing what times and places your teen is most likely to talk. Is she a night owl? Does she talking on a long drive? Is she more comfortable emailing? Use the time and venue that is most comfortable for her and encourage open sharing.
• Limit Harmful Media- Put your teen daughter on a media diet. Don’t feel you need to restrict website, magazine or TV shows entirely. Just be cautious of what mediums she concentrates on. Be especially mindful of any one celebrity that she idolizes or photos that she tears out and stares at repeatedly. Discuss how all magazine photos are airbrushed and doctored.
• Compliment Her and Her Friends- Make a point to compliment both your daughter and her friends on a well-put together outfit or a new hair style. Teens are trying on new looks and personalities as their bodies change. Let them know that they have hit on a good look when they experiment in the right direction.

Make sure to compliment them on things not related to their appearance as well. A good grade, a valiant sports effort or kind deed also deserve notice. Try to practice a 90/10% rule. Let 90% of your comments and insights be positive and only 10% should be carefully worded constructive criticism.

Resources:

Health AtoZ: Is it a Diet or an Eating Disorder?

Eating Disorder Statistics
http://www.freewebs.com/anadeath/statistics.htm

Comments

Click on the links below for more information about inhalant abuse, prevention, and treatment.

Prevention Videos
Prevention Information
Treatment Information
Inhalant Web Sites

Our Prevention Approach Inhalants, more than any other drug, are readily available to children, and can be deadly on first use. Therefore, to do no harm, inhalant prevention messages for children should not teach them what products can be abused, how to abuse inhalants, or what their euphoric effects are. We do not want to engage their curiosity.

Today’s prevailing expert consensus about best practices recommends disconnecting inhalant abuse prevention from substance abuse prevention for children who do not already know about inhalants. Instead, education about inhalants should stress their poisonous, toxic, polluting, combustible and explosive nature and should emphasize product safety. When targeting young children who have had little or no exposure to the nature of inhalants, there is no reason to make the association for them, thereby giving them an easily accessible way to get high. When children already know about inhalants as a drug, we still teach about it as we would for a naïve child, but may add a substance abuse component. The materials in this section follow this approach.

Comments

Inhaled chemicals are rapidly absorbed through the lungs into the bloodstream
and quickly distributed to the brain and other organs. Within minutes, the user
experiences intoxication, with symptoms similar to those produced by drinking
alcohol. With Inhalants, however, intoxication lasts only a few minutes, so some
users prolong the “high” by continuing to inhale repeatedly.

Short-term effects include:

headaches, muscle weakness, abdominal pain, severe
mood swings and violent behavior, belligerence, slurred speech, numbness and
tingling of the hands and feet, nausea, hearing loss, visual disturbances, limb
spasms, fatigue, lack of coordination, apathy, impaired judgment, dizziness,
lethargy, depressed reflexes, stupor, and loss of consciousness.
The Inhalant user will initially feel slightly stimulated and, after successive
inhalations, will feel less inhibited and less in control. Hallucinations may
occur and the user can lose consciousness. Worse, he or she, may even die.
Please see Sudden Sniffing Death Syndrome below.

Long-term Inhalant users generally suffer from:

weight loss, muscle weakness,
disorientation, inattentiveness, lack of coordination, irritability and depression.
Different Inhalants produce different harmful effects, and regular abuse of these
substances can result in serious harm to vital organs. Serious, but potentially
reversible, effects include liver and kidney damage. Harmful irreversible effects
include: hearing loss, limb spasms, bone marrow and central nervous system
(including brain) damage.

Sudden Sniffing Death Syndrome:

Children can die the first time, or any time, they try an Inhalant. This is
known as Sudden Sniffing Death Syndrome. While it can occur with many
types of Inhalants, it is particularly associated with the abuse of air conditioning
coolant, butane, propane, and the chemicals in some aerosol products. Sudden Sniffing Death Syndrome is usually associated with cardiac arrest. The Inhalant causes the heart to beat rapidly and erratically, resulting in cardiac arrest.
Learn more: Visit www.inhalant.org www.helpyourteens.com www.witsendbook.com

Comments

Most parents are in the dark regarding the popularity and dangers of inhalant use. But children are quickly discovering that common household products are inexpensive to obtain, easy to hide and the easiest way to get high. According to national surveys, inhaling dangerous products is becoming one of the most widespread problems in the country. It is as popular as marijuana with young people. More than a million people used inhalants to get high just last year. By the time a student reaches the 8th grade, one in five will have used inhalants.

What is inhalant use? Inhalant use refers to the intentional breathing of gas or vapors with the purpose of reaching a high. Inhalants are legal, everyday products which have a useful purpose, but can be misused. You're probably familiar with many of these substances -- paint, glue and others. But you probably don't know that there are more than 1,000 products that are very dangerous when inhaled -- things like typewriter correction fluid, air-conditioning refrigerant, felt tip markers, spray paint, air freshener, butane and even cooking spray. See Products Abused as Inhalants for more details.

Who is at risk? Inhalants are an equal opportunity method of substance abuse. Statistics show that young, white males have the highest usage rates. Hispanic and American Indian populations also show high rates of usage. See Characteristics of Users and Signs of an Inhalant User for more details.

What can inhalants do to the body? Nearly all abused products produce effects similar to anesthetics, which slow down the body's function. Varying upon level of dosage, the user can experience slight stimulation, feeling of less inhibition or loss of consciousness. The user can also suffer from Sudden Sniffing Death Syndrome. This means the user can die the 1st, 10th or 100th time he or she uses an inhalant. Other effects include damage to the heart, kidney, brain, liver, bone marrow and other organs. Results similar to Fetal Alcohol Syndrome may also occur when inhalants are used during pregnancy. Inhalants are physically and psychologically addicting and users suffer withdrawal symptoms. See Damage Inhalants Can Cause to the Body and Brain, Long-Term Effects of Inhalant Usage and Signs and Symptoms of a Long-Term User for more details.

What can I do if someone I know is huffing and appears in a state of crisis? If someone you know is huffing, the best thing to do is remain calm and seek help. Agitation may cause the huffer to become violent, experience hallucinations or suffer heart dysfunction which can cause Sudden Sniffing Death Syndrome. Make sure the room is well ventilated and call EMS. If the person is not breathing, administer CPR. Once recovered, seek professional treatment and counseling. See What To Do If Someone is Huffing for more details.

Can inhalant use be treated? Treatment facilities for inhalant users are rare and difficult to find. Users suffer a high rate of relapse, and require thirty to forty days or more of detoxification. Users suffer withdrawal symptoms which can include hallucinations, nausea, excessive sweating, hand tremors, muscle cramps, headaches, chills and delirium tremens. Follow-up treatment is very important. If you or someone you know is seeking help for inhalant abuse, you can contact the National Inhalant Prevention Coalition at 1-800-269-4237 for information on treatment centers and general information on inhalants. Through a network of nationwide contacts, NIPC can help (but not guarantee) finding a center in your area that treats inhalant use.

What should I tell my child or students about inhalants? It is never too early to teach your children about the dangers of inhalants. Don't just say "not my kid." Inhalant use starts as early as elementary school and is considered a gateway to further substance abuse. Parents often remain ignorant of inhalant use or do not educate their children until it is too late. Inhalants are not drugs. They are poisons and toxins and should be discussed as such. There are, however, a few age appropriate guidelines that can be useful when educating your children. See Tips for Teachers for more details on how much to tell your children or students in the classroom about inhalants.

How can I educate my community about inhalants? NIPC leads the annual National Inhalants & Poisons Awareness Week (NIPAW) every third week in March. The next campaign will be held March 18 - 24, 2007. This community mobilization campaign has proven to be an effective tool for fighting inhalant abuse. In Texas, where the campaign originated, inhalant use decreased following widespread involvement in NIPAW. For details on the campaign and NIPAW coordination in your community, see NIPAW 2007.

How can I be put on the NIPC mailing list? To receive current inhalant news and information, contact NIPC with your name, organization (if applicable), address, phone, fax and e-mail. Also, please indicate how you heard about the National Inhalant Prevention Coalition or how you found NIPC on the Web. Subscriptions to the NIPC newsletter and general information booklet "Inhalants: The Silent Epidemic" are free, but a voluntary payment or contribution is requested.

National Inhalant Prevention Coalition
322-A Thompson Street
Chattanooga, TN 37405

phone: 800-269-4237 or 423-265-4662
fax: 423-265-4889
e-mail: nipc@io.com

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Internet Predators Target Teens with Depression, Acne and Mental Illness

Bipolar, Acne, Depression, Chronic Illness? Your Teen May be More Vulnerable

Net predators mostly target vulnerable teens. Find out which teens are most vulnerable and how to protect them. Acne, depression, bipolar put teens at risk.

It’s not our youngest children, but our teens that are most at risk from internet predators. So say Janis Wolak, JD, David Finkelhor, PhD, Kimberly Mitchell, PhD and Michele Ybarra, PhD, at the Crimes against Children Research Center, University of New Hampshire. In a study entitled “Online Predators and Their Victims: Myths, Realties and Implications” published in the February/March 2008 issue of American Psychologist, the researchers reveal that it’s vulnerable teens rather than younger children who are the targets of predatory adults. The journal is published by the American Psychological Association (APA).

In opposition to popular opinion, adult predators are not posing as teens to attract very young children and they don’t generally abduct or rape children. Instead the study showed that most predators didn’t hide their adult status, only their motivations, and that teens in particular are their intended victims.

In these scenarios they attempted to gain the trust of a vulnerable teen and then seduced them into sexually motivated relationships or meetings.

A considerable amount of time may be spent courting these teens who are often from difficult family backgrounds or vulnerable circumstances. Any teen might be vulnerable but teens with chronic illness, teenage acne, physical disability, bipolar disorder, depression, body image concerns and eating disorders are at particular risk.

These are just a few examples of the kinds of teens who may easily be lured into the web of an online predator. Since the predator may grow to know the teen very well and spend plenty of time talking to them, the teen is often a willing participant in the sexual encounter, seeing it as a blur of romance, acceptance or sexual awakening.

Often the teens have been victims of sexual or physical abuse, marital discord and health problems. Teens also tend to be prone to risk taking in both real life and virtual settings.

One teen was lured into an encounter when he identified with the predator’s fabricated struggle to find the best treatment for adult acne. In this case the teen was looking for advice on treating acne and he found it in this particular online predator.

This endeared the man to him and set the stage for a later sexual encounter. Thus it is possible that your teen starts out sharing a home recipe for back acne treatment and ends up in a scary situation!

In short- teens with low self esteem, body image, emotional and family problems that enjoy the thrill of taking risks are exactly they type of child that an online predator is hoping to find.

Three surveys were conducted by the researchers-two took the form of telephone interviews with 3000 internet users aged ten to seventeen (200o and 2005) and in the other 612 interviews were held with federal, state and local law enforcement officials in the United States (October 2001- July 2002).

The researchers emphasized the importance of the study: “To prevent these crimes, we need accurate information about their true dynamics," said Janis Wolak.

“The things that we hear and fear and the things that actually occur may not be the same. The newness of the environment makes it hard to see where the danger is."

Also important was the finding that social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace did not aggravate predator abuse. Instead teens who spent time talking online to strangers particularly about sexual topics were placed in the highest risk categories. "Most Internet-initiated sex crimes involve adult men who are open about their interest in sex," Wolak said. "The offenders use instant messages, e-mail and chat rooms to meet and develop intimate relationships with their victims. In most of the cases, the victims are aware that they are talking online with adults." "A majority of the offenders are charged with crimes such as statutory rape, that involve non-forcible sexual activity with adolescent victims who are too young to consent to sexual intercourse with adults," she said.

When children are discouraged from sharing personal details and being deceived online it does little to deter these problems the study revealed. Adults keeping constant tabs on internet activities did not prove to be the answer either.

Instead it is suggested by the researchers that parents should spend time teaching teens about the risks associated with certain types of behavior.

This means that parents should be having open and honest discussions about romantic or sexual relationships/encounters with an adult. The risks and patterns inherent in online relationships should be pointed out to the teen without making him/her feel judged. Unfortunately this is often easier said than done.

These families often have considerable communication difficulties already and the teens may not feel respectful or trusting towards their parent or caregiver. In this case other sources could be found that could help provide information to the teen.

The study also revealed that adults do not pretend to be teens very often (5% of crimes committed involved an adult impersonating a teen). Seventy-five percent of victims who met a predator did so on more than a single occasion.

Predators are not usually violent and do not generally force their victims into sexual behavior, instead they attempt to court them into making the decision for themselves. In the mind of the predator this relieves them of some of the responsbility for their crimes. He/she does not seem to consider the naivete or inexperience of the average teen.

It also appears that teens who have been involved in risky online activities reveal that they have received sexual offers over the internet. Risky activities might take the form of spending time talking to or e-mailing strangers, talking about sex with strangers or being antagonistic or nasty to people online.

Homosexual teen boys are at special risk say researchers. This is because they are unsure of their sexuality. One quarter of crimes committed involved boys who were gay or questioning their sexuality.

The best thing parents can do is maintain consistent open communication with their teens about their online activities. If a teen seems secretive about his/her online activities then investigate by searching their computer for any e-mails, chats, instant messages or other risky online activities.

Do not feel as though you are breaching your teen’s privacy. Young boys and girls do deserve some private time and activities, but in this case some well-timed “snooping” might save a life so if you feel at all uneasy don’t hesitate to try to uncover your teens internet habits.

The entire article may be found at: http://www.apa.org/journals/releases/amp632111.pdf

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Raising teens poses enough challenges in itself - parenting a teen in a new culture adds another level of complexity. Chances are, your teen years were very different than your child's will be living in America. Here's a few things to keep in mind as you guide your teen into young adulthood:

YOUR TEEN MAY TRY TO FIT THE "AMERICAN" NORM.
We may not like it, but this is normal. Sometimes it means they will dress in strange ways or "reject" their culture. Peer pressure is a big deal to kids at this age, and they're just trying to fit in with the rest of their friends and schoolmates at this time.

PASS ON YOUR CULTURE AND LANGUAGE.
Your teen should know your family's traditions, beliefs, religion and language, as well as the story of your journey to America. Right now, teens may not be interested or even "rebuff" their culture. As they grow up, they will learn to appreciate their language, food and customs - and take pride in these traditions.

LISTEN TO YOUR TEEN.
It's hard to grow up in two cultures. Teens need support to help understand their roots, while you may need their help to understand what it's like to grow up in America. Talking and listening to each other will help you both succeed.

KNOW THE CULTURAL DIFFERENCES.
There are many "standards" that may be different from your culture. For example, friendships outside the family may be more common than they were in your childhood. Or, you may be concerned that your children aren't obedient or respectful. Your teens are growing up in two cultures. To help your teen succeed in America, decide what expectations you need to keep and what you can change.

TALK WITH OTHER PARENTS. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
As private as parenting is, we all need ideas - especially when we are raising our teens in a new culture. Get together with other parents to share advice and stories, and explore this site for more culturally-specific parenting resources.

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Bullying among children is aggressive behavior that is intentional and that involves an imbalance of power or strength. Typically, it is repeated over time. Bullying can take many forms such as hitting or punching (physical bullying); teasing or name-calling (verbal bullying); intimidation through gestures or social exclusion (nonverbal bullying or emotional bullying); and sending insulting messages by e-mail (cyberbullying).

There is no one single cause of bullying among children. Rather, individual, family, peer, school, and community factors can place a child or youth at risk for bullying his or her peers.

Children who bully their peers regularly (i.e., those who admit to bullying more than occasionally) tend to:

• Be impulsive, hot-headed, dominant;
• Be easily frustrated;
• Lack empathy;
• Have difficulty following rules; and
• View violence in a positive way.

Boys who bully tend to be physically stronger than other children.

Click here for entire article.

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She mentions many statistics related to inhalants, and also other dangers that many aren't aware of:

"Besides sudden cardiac arrest (the most common cause of death from inhalants), huffing can kill quickly in a number of other ways. Motor vehicle accidents, falls, and other traumatic injuries are common and horrible. Others die from suffocation, burns, suicide (from the depression that can follow the high), and from choking – on their own vomit.

When huffing doesn’t kill quickly, it damages the body each time–especially the brain. Huffing can cause memory loss, impaired concentration, hearing loss, loss of
coordination, and permanent brain damage. Chronic use can cause permanent heart,
lung, liver, and kidney damage as well."

As a warning to parents, she explains that,

"Most huffing takes place with friends (although kids who sniff correction fluid in class when their teachers turn away are not uncommon). Be observant of your child and his or her friends.

Inhalants gradually leave the body for 2 weeks following huffing–mostly through exhaling. The characteristic odor is the biggest clue. Be on the lookout for breath or clothing that smells like chemicals. Look for clothing stains. Watch for spots or sores around the mouth.

Nausea, lack of appetite, weight loss, nervousness, restlessness, and outbursts of anger can all be signs of inhalant abuse. A drunk, dazed, or glassy-eyed appearance
might mean your child is abusing inhalants right now."

She also pleads with parents to sit down and discuss inhalant abuse with their children early, because,

"Preventing huffing is far better than trying to treat an inhalant addiction. Talking with your child about it is more powerful than anything else (NIDA Research Monograph, 1988;85:8–29).

Start talking with your child about it now. Although huffing peaks between the ages of 12 and 15 years, it often starts “innocently” in children only 6 to 8 years old
(Pediatrics, 1996;97:3).

Literally thousands of easily available substances can be inhaled, so you can’t keep your child away from them. You can, however, educate and inspire."

The author posted this after attending a funeral for a 20-year-old who accidentally died after huffing. She writes,

"The pain it caused his family and friends was enormous and the loss of the one they loved will haunt them forever. This is a real, dangerous problem. Anyone, even a first time user, can die." www.inhalant.org www.helpyourteens.com www.witsendbook.com

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When your teen starts to drive it is a good idea to be well aware of the teen driving statistics that are out there. A lot of the teen driving statistics may prove to be rather shocking.As a parent, if you search for any information about Teen Driving Statistics you will find statistics similar to those below. I have reviewed various websites to summarize the information from these sources, however, please feel free to search the web for “teen driving statistics” for more websites and information on this subject.
The information allows us to ponder if teen driving needs to be revisited on a national level. How are teen drivers being educated by driving schools? Do we need to increase the amount of time for driver training? How about requiring higher levels of car driving education (not just traffic education, but how do drive a car education)? Should driver’s licenses only be issued at age 18? What are the economic implications to increasing the driving age? We will visit these questions in the next article. For now we need to understand what is happening on our roads today.

We know that the current requirements for driver education are not sufficient. Both commercially and by parents. We can add that a younger age teen is not mature enough to control a vehicle and might as well be considered to be driving a deadly weapon. Teens with permit licenses are driving with their parents in an unmarked family vehicle only increase the likelihood of accidents. Using car magnets that are thick, reflective for the night and are durable can help reduce this likelihood. Identifying these almost 2 million vehicles on the road should be a requirement on a national level.

As parents we must take the responsibility of protecting our children. Should you reconsider your decision the next time your teen asks to take the car?

The Facts from reliable Sources

National Highway Traffic Safety Administration

In 2003, 3,657 (3,827 in 2002) drivers 15 to 20 years old were killed, and an additional 308,000 (324,000 in 2002) were injured, in motor vehicle crashes. Nearly 31 percent of teen drivers killed in motor vehicle crashes in 2003 had been drinking and 74 percent of this group was not wearing their safety belts.

National Safety Council

In 2000, 6,495 people between the ages of 15 and 20 were killed in motor vehicle crashes-the leading cause of death for this age group. And although young drivers represent only 6.6% of the nation’s licensed drivers, they are involved in 14.8% of fatal crashes. The National Safety Council urges all parents to familiarize themselves with the risks associated with young, inexperienced drivers.

Traffic crashes are the number one cause of death among children and young adults.

More than 3,800 young drivers age 15-20 are killed every year in traffic crashes.

More than 326,000 young drivers are injured.

Young drivers are involved in fatal traffic crashes at over twice the rate as the rest of the population.

Exceeding the posted speed limit or driving at an unsafe speed is the most common error in fatal accidents.

About 30% of crashes killing young drivers involve alcohol.

More than 1,000 young drivers lose their lives every year in crashes because of an impaired driver… be it themselves, or someone else.

Sean Mullsteff Teen Driving Foundation

The number one cause of death for 15-20 year olds is car collisions.

This age group makes up 7% of licensed drivers, but suffers 14% of fatalities and 20% of all reported collisions.

53% of teen driver deaths occur on weekends.

Teen drivers killed in motor vehicle collisions had a youth passenger in the automobile 45% of the time.

In 2002, The National Center for Statistics and Analysis reported that 8,278 adolescents (ages 15-20) were involved in fatal crashes.

324,000 teens were injured in collisions in 2002.

65% of teen passenger deaths occur with a teen driving.

Teen lifestyle of staying up late make teen drivers a high risk to have an automobile collision due to drowsiness.

More than any age group, teens are likely to be involved in a single vehicle crash.
Melih Oztalay, CEO
Auto Safety Magnets
The Driving Book -

Covering virtually every scenario a new driver may face–from changing a tire to negotiating privileges with parents to handling a car in bad weather.

Roadside Emergency Kit

With the 29 Piece Roadside Emergency Kit you will be prepared for almost any emergency you may encounter in your automobile.

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Wonder if the prosecutors read my blog entry from last June about Dozier Internet Law and our view on the law of hacking? And I wonder how many of these law professors and talking heads on TV have ever tried a hacking or unauthorized access case? Maybe the prosecutors are new to this, maybe they aren't. But at least they did their legal research. Commentators, particularly the "free speechers" expressing outrage over the indictment, should be so diligent. There's at least one law professor so outraged he is offering his legal services for free. A little research, Mr. Professor, may be in order.

Here's why:

California is in the 9th Circuit. I suggest anyone interested in commenting on the case who also wants to sound somewhat knowledgeable read the Middleton v. US case decided by the 9th Circuit. I suspect the prosecutors will use this case to argue that unauthorized access causing damage or loss has already been recognized as a crime in the 9th Circuit. Lay on top of that decision another 9th Circuit case, Creative Computing v. Getloaded.com, which Dozier Internet Law argued before the 9th Circuit, and you can see that the rationale the prosecutors are using has already been established in the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals in a couple of decisions. The trial court HAS TO follow this case law from the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals! Anywhere else in the country and they would not have a trial court bound by this precedent. Smart prosecutors, I would say. 

Visit the Dozier Internet Law Hacking page on our site and you can see that our interpretation has always been that such access in violation of a user agreement or terms of use violates not only the CFAA but also many, many state computer crime laws. For those who think that the CFAA applies only to damage to a computer, read the code sections again. And for those who believe that a damage or loss could not include personal injury or death, view the expansive definition of "loss". How could this statute evolve since its passage in the late 1990s to be so inclusive today? 9/11 and the Patriot Act, frankly. You can research the changes that were made to the law, review the legislative history, and read the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act from top to bottom. You may even want to re-read the Dozier Internet Law Hacker Blog Entry from last June in which I made the same points the prosecutor will likely be relying upon, and described a criminal hacking trial for which I was lead counsel in which the Judge also found that violating a terms of use is unauthorized access (won on other grounds).

No, this is not an unprecedented case. The FBI and Department of Justice recently raided our client's offices in Florida based on an alleged website user agreement violation. Another FBI investigation targeted a client for doing the same thing in Northern California. The concepts may seem novel or unique to those feigning expertise in this area of the law. But, the indictment is likely well grounded in law, and I am not surprised at all that the prosecutors brought charges under the CFAA. Particularly in California and the 9th Circuit.

The lesson, of course, is that those contracts you agree to online are binding, and those abusing a website and joining the world of online scofflaws had better watch out. I still don't like the statutes that associate hackers with non-malicious unauthorized access. But, no matter how hard the left wing, free speech commentators try, they can't change the law. They see it as they want it to be. We see it as it is. And it is what it is! Ask the 9th Circuit.

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Learn your child’s educational rights to get him the support he needs in the classroom.

In an ideal world, teachers and school administrators would be as eager as parents to see that children with ADD get what they need to succeed in school. Unfortunately, teachers are pressed for time as never before, and school districts are strapped for cash. So it’s up to parents to make sure that their kids get the extra support they need.

“The federal government requires schools to provide special services to kids with ADD and other disabilities, but the school systems themselves bear much of the cost of these services,” says Susan Luger, director of The Children’s Advisory Group in New York City. “Though they’ll never admit it, this gives the schools an incentive to deny these services. The process of obtaining services has become much more legalistic over the past 10 years.”

Click here for the entire article.

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Check it out and learn more about parenting your individual child.

The Teens Years (13-18)
The Middle Years (6-12)
The Early Years (3-5)

What is education.com?

Education.com is an online resource for parents with kids in preschool through grade 12.On our site you can:

Search over 4,000 reference articles from the best and most authoritative sources across the web. From the NYU Child Study Center to the Autism Society of America, Reading is Fundamental to Stanford University School of Education, our Reference Desk brings the best information from the most trusted universities, professional associations, non-profit institutes, and government agencies together in one place.

Browse our online magazine for hundreds of ideas that take learning beyond the classroom and into your family’s everyday life. We cover topics across the parental spectrum-- from practicing fractions by baking cookies, to how to deal with ADHD, bullying, to navigating the parent-teacher conference.

Explore virtual neighborhoods where parents with similar interests or challenges connect to trade advice and share their experiences with one another—whether it’s about dyslexia or dioramas.

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Sue Scheff is a parent advocate who founded Parents’ Universal Resources Experts, Inc. (P.U.R.E.) in 2001. She has been featured on 20/20, The Rachel Ray Show, ABC News, Canadian CBC Sunday News Magazine, CNN Headline News, Fox News, BBC Talk Radio, and NPR, discussing topics of Internet defamation as well as her work helping troubled teens and their families through her organization. To learn more about P.U.R.E. visit www.helpyourteens.com and to contact the author, visit www.suescheff.com. 

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Certain young teens suffer from depression as result of situations surrounding their social or family life, but many are succeptable to the disease regardless of race, gender, income level or education. It is very important for parents to keep a watch on their teens - and to maintain a strong level of communication. Understanding the causes and warning signs of the illness can help parents prevent their teens from falling in to depression.

My name is Sue Scheff™ and I understand how difficult it can be dealing with a troubled teenager because I have been there! My experiences lead to the founding Parents Universal Resource Experts www.helpyourteens.com , an organization dedicated to parental support, education and resources. I work with parents like you every day, looking for help and answers in desperation. You are not alone!

This website is dedicated to the bringing parents the best information about teenage depression; causes, symptoms, statistics and preventative measures.

Please visit our newly added informative section on teenage anxiety, the lesser known, but equally serious, relative of depression.

Visit www.sue-scheff.org for more information on Teen Depression.

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Your child with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) is loving, intelligent, cute, creative — and often wants his own way. He has the talk and charm to out-debate you, and will negotiate until the 59th minute of the 23rd hour. Like salesmen who won’t take no for an answer, he can wear you down until you give in to his wishes.

Click here for complete article.

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On April 17th Sue Scheff appeared on the Rachael Ray Show  talking about Cyber Slander and promoting her upcoming new book - Wit’s End!

Free Speech will never condone defamation.  In an unprecedented jury verdict for damages, Scheff was awarded over $11Mfor the malicious and defamatory online comments from a woman that wanted E-Venge.

For more articles on E-Venge - check out www.suescheffpodcasts.com.  Sue Scheff retained the priceless services of Reputation Defender.  I

f you are a victim of Internet Abuse, take a moment to review the services Reputation Defender has to offer. 

If you are a parent, it is important to consider Reputation Defender MyChild  to help protect your child online.

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